Letting Go of Saving the World part one
I get excited about things, and when I take on a task or a project or a new angle of learning I dive deep, often splashing others in the process.
As always, there are pros and cons to this trait. On the plus side, I have lots of energy, and my enthusiasm has begun to translate into powerful and inspirational leadership. I can often transmit my excitement to others, and gain their buy-in. Together, we get things done, and this brings satisfaction and progress.
On the minus side, I often develop a sense of intense urgency and start to believe that “there is no-time-to-waste.” As I focus intensely on “What’s Next?”, “What Needs to Be Done?” and “Why is it Taking So Long?”, I lose my connection to the present moment and to what is happening right in front of me. I become lost in thought, and fall into old patterns in letting ego run the show.
The argument goes something like this:
The world is in trouble and needs to be saved.
No one else seems to be saving the world.
Therefore, it’s up to me.
If I don’t do my best to save the world, it will be all my fault when things falls apart.
Which they probably will anyway.
There is no time to waste.
When I succumb to this argument my experience of life becomes challenging and fraught with busyness.
WIth the feeling that there is not enough time, I start to project that there is not also enough cooperation, not enough good will, not enough compassion, not enough attention, not enough of what is needed. Just Not Enough. From this mindset of scarcity, I see the world as cruel, frightening, overwhelming, and hopeless.
The view from dAVE's head.
In truth, I am actually projecting my own personal angst onto the world, and in doing so I set it up so I can never succeed. It doesn't matter what I do because in my mind it will never be enough. I cast myself as Sisyphus or Atlas, never able to rest, perpetually pushing, suffering for eternity. I make myself miserable.
I recently was blessed with an opportunity to see this pattern clearly, again. It was the same old story: I over-committed myself, got grouchy and bitter, complained, lamented, and then finally melted down.
Thankfully, I had lots of loving support, and was able to remember, again, that everything was okay.
I remembered, again, that when I allow myself to love the world unconditionally, when I let go of my judgments and fears and scary stories, I suddenly look around to find myself living in a world that does not need any saving.
As I practice welcoming each moment with a sense of delight, relaxation, and flow, I find that I have created a reality in which the work is already done, the world is safe, and I am able to celebrate.
Of course, this is not to say that there will not still be work to do.
Accepting the world as it is is not an excuse for inattention. As Shunryu Suzuki said: “everything is perfect, but there is a lot of room for improvement."
What a lovely paradox. To save the world, I must let it go, and in letting it go, I see that it was never in need of saving in the first place.
(continued in part two: Room for Improvement)