Not Saving the World (Part Two) — Yoshin Coaching and Consulting

How do I hold the paradox in my heart-mind that everything is fine, and yet it could also be better?

How do I balance a deep and heartfelt desire to do good and reduce suffering on this planet with a sense of well-being and acceptance that things are perfect just the way they are?

Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron put it this way: “We don't set out to save the world; we set out to wonder how other people are doing and to reflect on how our actions affect other people's hearts.”

This is helpful. She suggests we start with curiosity and a genuine interest in others, asking the questions: What is needed? What is truly welcome? What is skillful?

She then suggests that we consider the heart quality from which our actions are born.

I must ask myself if I am living out the fantasy that I am a saviour come to save the world (see part one) or if am I coming from a place of humility, respect, and unconditional service?

Lilla Watson, an Indigenous Australian/Murri visual artist, activist and academic working in the field of Women's and Aboriginal issues put it this way:

If you have come here to help me, you are wasting your time.

But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.

I know from my twenty years of experience as a Public Defender attorney that when I presume to know what is best for my clients, without deeply listening to what they want, I create a barrier of mistrust and disconnection.

The attorney-client relationship is inherently unequal: I am free of the system, while they are not. I am on the outside, while they are on the inside. I am wearing a suit while they are wearing orange coveralls. I am versed in the language and diction of the court, while they are versed in the language of the street.

In this scenario, when I offer assistance without genuine curiosity I do violence to the relationship. When I tell a client what they “should do” without demonstrating a willingness to listen deeply to their experience, I perpetuate the oppression of the system.

In contrast, when I empower my client to tell me what they need me to know, I invite them into a partnership which will serve both of our ends.

Pema Chodron also suggests that we must honestly assess the resulting impact of our actions on the hearts of others.

This serves as a diagnostic for the process, requiring an honest appraisal of the success of the first two parts: Have I been curious? Have my actions emerged from a clear, honest, and unconditional heart quality? Have I acted in a way that brings equality to the relationship, that brings partnership and an equal stake in liberation?

Answering these questions is challenging, requiring a whole-hearted integrity and a compassionate and humble inner wisdom. It is all too easy to succumb to the urgency and illusion of scarcity that I discussed in part one, and to project that vision onto the world, or onto a client.

The more that I rush around and commit to a million tasks, and the more that I empower the Ego-Dave to do his thing, the farther that I venture from the truth.

On the other hand, when I make space for quiet contemplation and gentle awareness, I am better able to calm down and check in with my heart.

By sitting still, and doing my interior work, I make it possible to be genuinely curious, and to see that I am not a separate being from any other. I am able to remember that on the most fundamental level, my liberation is indeed bound up with that of every other sentient being. It truly is all for one, and one for all, and the One has a capital O.

Trappist monk and lyrical contemplative Thomas Merton put it this way:

There is a pervasive form of modern violence to which the idealist...most easily succumbs: activism and over-work. The rush and pressure of modern life are a form, perhaps the most common form, of its innate violence.

To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is to succumb to violence.

The frenzy of the activist neutralizes his (or her) work... It destroys the fruitfulness of his (or her)...work, because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful.

Whole-hearted action must emerge from this root of inner wisdom. Doing must come from a place of Being lest it become a part of the problem.

So let us circle back around. When I become attached to the world being a certain way, I suffer and then project that suffering outward, with both my vision and my actions. I experience urgency and scarcity, and in my fear, I create barriers of judgment and disapointment, which separate me from others and create a sense of isolation.

By instead letting go of the idea that the world needs to be saved, by slowing down and checking in with the inner wisdom that I and everyone of us holds, I am better able to act in a whole-hearted and unconditional way. I am able to see that truly my liberation and my salvation are tied to every other being. I am able to act from a place of compassion, respect, and humility.

I am able to act as an ally rather than as a savior… and that will make all the difference.

I accept that the world is perfect and whole just as it is when I accept this same truth about myself.

Similarly, when I look inside myself, settle down, and touch into my inner wisdom, and see what needs work, I am able to gently understand that there is also plenty of room for improvement out in the world.

In this way, I set out to embrace wonder, and in doing so, find non-violent and loving ways to heal the world.