The Power of One
It’s the time of year when many of us make resolutions to release old habits that are not serving us and to commit to new healthier choices.
It’s a tricky business though.
Health Clubs have created an entire business model around folks signing up for a long-term contract, showing up for a month, and then skipping until they finally withdraw. Surely every one of us has made such a resolution, whether it was on New Years or our birthday or after a medical scare, and then found ourselves bailing out at the first real hurdle.
Whenever I repeat this pattern, I feel shame and guilt, and my inner bully will rear his ugly head and start picking on me.
Of course, the bully usually doesn’t succeed in actually getting me to go back to the gym; instead he just makes me feel like crap, and I find that my discipline and self-care and love diminish even more as my habits slip further away from health.
It’s a similar effect to the shame loop I described in another post: the “cure” creates the “disease”! ( http://www.daveklaus.net/blog//sunlight-defeats-shame)
As a result, many of us have learned to simply avoid making such resolutions. Facebook recently has been awash in sarcastic or qualified New Year’s resolutions, as folks try to hedge their bets from the start. Of course, this approach is also flawed, for if I make a resolution that is half-hearted with a built in escape clause, I can't reasonably expect it to succeed.
Many coaches use the acronym SMART when setting goals: a SMART goal must be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.
For example, if I make a resolution to work out every day for the rest of my life, I am not being SMART. The goal is not time-bound, and is unlikely to be achievable. it’s just too big of a bite, and I am setting myself up for failure.
On the other hand, a SMARTer resolution would be: I will work out one day a week for one month, see how much progress I make in my fitness, and then consider setting another goal. With this approach, I am setting up a Win. It is specific and measurable (once a week), seemingly do-able, relevant to my health, and time-bound (one month). A success with this win can then propel me onto a more challenging goal.
But what if we make my goal even more modest: a Micro-resolution.
Consider the Power of One.
Years ago I committed to doing one single Yoga Sun Salutation each morning. This takes about thirty seconds and I always have thirty seconds when I get up. I rise and do my quick exercise and then usually I find that once I am on the ground I might as well do another. And maybe some push-ups. And some sit-ups. Ten minutes later I feel strong and alive and victorious!
To be sure, this resolution has waxed and waned for me over time, but when I lose it I know that all I need to start over is one simple exercise.
Here are some other examples of Micro-Resolutions that might last one week:
meditate for 1 minute every morning
do one pushup when upon waking up every day
read one poem every day first thing in the morning
express gratitude for one good thing from the day, every night before bedtime
hug your partner every morning before going to work and every day on getting home
After the resolution sets in, and I have a week or two of success, then I may start keeping track. How many days in a row can I do? How many weeks? Can I stay on the streak?
In September, after my first eight-day meditation retreat, I decided to sit every day for a month for at least five minutes, with a goal of twenty-five to thirty minutes a day. The first month I almost missed it a few times. More than once I found myself sitting down at 11:45 PM! One time, I actually got back out of bed when I remembered it. Most mornings I rise early and sit for 25 minutes before the rest of the family gets up, but I know I have the five minute sit as a fallback. After forty days, my competitive nature kicked in: I do not want to lose this streak! My goal now is to make it one-hundred days in a row. And then one-hundred-eighty. And so on. (update note, 1 year after I wrote this: I am now on day 451.)
I invite you to make your own Micro-Resolution. Make it simple, small, and do-able! Make it easy!!! So easy that even your very persuasive thinking mind can’t talk you out of it.
As you have success, please write to me, or comment on my Facebook page, and absolutely tell your friends! How many of them can you inspire to take on a Micro-Resolution?
With each new day, with each new small step and act of self-care, and with each new win, take the time to congratulate yourself for your discipline and wisdom, and to appreciate that you loved yourself enough to make a Micro-Resolution and utilize the Power of One.